Avi and Sam get deep on a classic relationship dilemma. A listener wants to know what to do with a girlfriend who is angry at him for choosing to spend time with his friends instead of with her. Sam shares lessons he's learned from his own experience and we really drill down into the subtext of this question. 

Hey Man - 

My girlfriend and I have been dating off and on for 3 years. We broke up briefly after about 6 months, but got back together a few months later and have been together ever since. We just moved in together. The problem is, I think my girlfriend is very possessive, or we have different ideas about how much time to spend together, and it often leads to conflict. I have hobbies that I like to do on my own and I also have a great group of friends (who I used to live with before I moved in with my girlfriend) and we often get together at least once a week to hang out, watch a game, drink beer. My girlfriend really hates it when I hang out with my friends. When I get home, she’s mad at me. She says I’m choosing them over her, that we don’t spend enough time together. 

On the one hand, I can see her side somewhat. I see these guys a lot - some of them are in a softball league with me, so we see each other for that and then we often hang out all day on a Saturday or Sunday if there are games on to watch. But I also see my girlfriend a lot. I thought moving in together would help things, but it hasn’t at all. I see her every other night! How can she possibly say we’re not spending enough time together? I should add, this is also why we broke up in the beginning of our relationship, so it has been a problem practically since the beginning. Honestly, it just seems like she’s jealous and I’m not sure what to do about that. Please help. 

Signed, 

Torn in Fort Greene