Jason Roggers is a former silver medalist with the USA Olympic Men's Fencing team. He's also the author of a recent candid essay in Men's Health magazine about his decades-long strong with performance anxiety and erectile dysfunction. This week, he shares with us about his struggle with erectile dysfunction and how other men can benefit from what he learned in his recovery process. We also get a question from a listener struggling with whether he should commit to his current partner or end the relationship. Jason's essay in Men's HealthJason's website Jason's Instagram
I know the premise of this question might sound overly pessimistic, but I feel like I wasted my life. I’m 40 and have a job that pays 6 figures that anyone would consider good and enviable. I’ve worked steadily towards my career, taking a break only to get an MBA and am now in a top position at my company. I feel proud about where I’ve gotten myself professionally.
The problem is that I’m currently engaged to a woman who is my first long-term relationship and I’m having serious doubts. I have been very focused on my career and haven’t been able to sustain a serious relationship. When I met my fiance, things felt good but they tapered off about a year into the relationship (it’s now been 4 more years). I do love her as a person, but I just don’t know if I want to be with her. Part of the problem is that my job is so demanding, I easily get distracted and forget about how unhappy I am with the relationship.
One of the reasons I think I don’t want to stay in this relationship is because I think I’ve grown and changed a lot since we first met. I got in better shape, I got more confident as a result of big moves in my career. I often think - “I could do better” if I was out on the market now. Part of the reason that sticks in my mind is because I was shy and insecure earlier in my adulthood, but I’ve figured a lot of that stuff out and feel like I’m not living up to my potential. I regret not dating more and not realizing some of the things I realize now. Couldn’t I be happier? Don’t I deserve to find that out?
Tired of wasting time
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