Our guest this week is Jules Febre, one of the senior teachers at Jivamukti Yoga in New York City. We talked with him about his complicated path towards practicing yoga and explore gender differences and class differences in practicing yoga. Jules has a really interesting, helpful way of complicating conventional wisdom and suggesting a path that wouldn't have even occurred. Finally, we get to an advice question from a young man struggling with anger in the face of major life changes. 

Jules Febre
Jivamukti Yoga

Hey Man, 

I’m 25 years old and, after a choppy start to adulthood, have finally found my footing, but the ride was rough: Halfway through college, my parents divorced. Part of the cause of the divorce was my dad’s complete mismanagement of his finances and the major arguing that ensued between my parents. It also turned out that he couldn’t afford to pay my tuition at a private college. I ended up leaving and slowly worked my way up in a startup and, despite having minimal tech skills, now have a good paying job and live completely independently from my parents. My mom and my younger brother have not fared as well. Before my parents’ divorce, we were financially very well off. My mom worked, but more as a hobby than a career. Now she’s scraping by on much less than she’s used to, is isolating herself and seems very depressed. My brother, who is 2 years younger than me, has not handled the divorce very well or the change in our family’s fortunes. He’s still in college despite going for 5 years and is essentially a C+ student with a major in Comparative Literature at a lower tier liberal arts college. My dad has since righted his ship, is back to making more money and despite paying for 5 years of my brother’s college has never once offered to send me back to school or help in any way. 

I’m really angry. I’m angry at my dad for screwing up our family and for not helping me, I’m angry at my brother for being a selfish asshole and I’m angry at my mom for being a doormat and wasting the rest of her life. But I also feel loyal to everyone. I see them all the time, am often talking with my brother and offering him support. I just want everyone to be ok, but they’re not and I keep carrying the bag - listening to my mom and brother, eating shit while out to dinner with my dad and his new girlfriend. I don’t know what to do, but I know that my intense anger is super distracting. I feel sick a lot or I’m always tired and I’m starting to feel like my work is suffering. Help. 

Signed, 

Angry in Astoria